Blog: Dean BestCountry in crisis: UK faces flavourless phallics

Dean Best | 21 October 2008

The scandal involving Chinese dairy products tainted with melamine took an unexpected turn yesterday (20 October) when the UK’s Food Standards Agency issued a recall for a number of “adult” products, such as Chocolate Willy Spread.

If you had been planning a trip to sex shop Ann Summers for a raunchy purchase, the FSA has advised you to steer well clear of the afore mentioned willy spread, a similar nipple spread or “I love you” novelty pen sets – all of which were imported from aptly named Chinese manufacturer Le Bang.

For a lot of guys in the UK the situation just got really serious: contaminated milk is one thing, but take away their willy spread and that’s just going too far.

While some of these products contained up to ten times the level of melamine allowed under EU regulations, the FSA said that their removal from shelves was a precautionary measure and that the risk was low – after all just how much of the stuff are you going to eat?

On a serious note, this latest recall highlights just how interconnected the global food sector is. Who would have predicted that a Chinese milk scare would end up in British sex shops?

In a statement on its website, the safety regulator admitted: “This is a first. We've never had to put out an alert before on willy spread, chocolate-flavoured or otherwise.”

Well there go my plans for the weekend. 

Katy Humphries, Deputy Editor


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