Blog: Martha disses prison food

Catherine Sleep | 23 December 2004

Martha Stewart, doyenne of the dish doily and dainty dip dish, has poured scorn on prison food. In an open letter posted on her website, Stewart says she looks forward to getting back to cooking and mentions the ‘bad food’.

Currently halfway through a five-month jail term for lying to stock market regulators, Stewart was professionally bound to have a few ideas to brighten up the federal women's prison camp in Alderson, West Virginia. You just know she’s going to turn this whole chapter to her advantage, don’t you?

Telly offers must be flooding in already. I’d quite like to see her pitted against some of our own domestic goddesses in a prison reality TV show to see who would be the most inventive to create comfort and sustenance out of meagre surroundings.

Now, who could we get to take part? Nigella Lawson would have to be there, if only to boost male viewing figures. Linda Barker would probably be an asset, as she’s just SO good at making cushions that work really, REALLY well out of next to nothing. But the sensible money would have to be on Delia Smith; she’d have the girls pulling their socks up and working together to make healthy stocks and stews in no time at all.

I guess Martha herself would have too great an advantage (previous experience and all that) so she could be a judge. Oh yes, there’s an idea here alright. I say we set it in Wormwood Scrubs; lots of period features for the girls to work with.

"Time to not eat the bad food"


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